Okay. So the initial purpose of this blog was to occupy my free time, and to post things I found interesting that others may or may not. It didn’t matter- I did.
Lately I’m having issues with my home life, and thus I have decided to restart this blog as indeed “The Life of Manda” but to now be unedited (metaphorically speaking). I’m going to use this blog format to list all of the inane things my roommate/ex/sorta bf what the fuck have fought about. Perhaps I’ll get lucky and some inspired reader will collaborate or help me solve the issue.
I will now summarize:
For reasons like you’d normally expect, I left my apartment and bicycle and low paying job for a boy. He offered to move me to a brand spanking new place, buy me a car, be my prince charming. He convinced and encouraged me to find a new (still not paying) job. (Note: it’s commission since I need clients and have no products to sell or market and thus 99% of the jobs in my field are this way- it’s normal. Difference is, I’m in a nicer area in which to be broke).
Fast forward 2 months:
We now basically can’t stand each other, but are trying to be friends. Since I’m not working at my old job (I could walk/bike to) I now NEED the car he pays for. I’m collecting UI for a time, but it’s much less than enough. I’m actively marketing my new position(s) and actually just today was offered a second (partially paying) job on the OTHER side of town to do the same thing. So… hopefully in 3ish months I will be self-sufficient again. I also have a cat I dearly love (he is 13) so I have to take him into account with new living situations- he hates all other animals/is terrified of them. Since he’s already 13 I don’t want to terrorize the poor little guy :/
We argue DAILY. For HOURS. Neither of us can truly leave. We are stuck.
My main issue is when he states “facts” that are 90-100% complete bull. Like last night when he had a 4 hour tirade originating from how "Handicapped people shouldn’t inconvenience the rest of us with ramps and braille and fire alarms with flashing lights. Just because a few people have problems doesn’t mean everyone else should have to change…. If everyone had blue skin and one person was born with orange skin we would all have to wear orange suits over our skin so that guy didn’t know he was different and feel bad about it."
As you can see, he likes to spout complete bullshit. It happens OFTEN. He loves to focus on how I’m so much smarter than him (Bachelors and Doctorate vs Journeyman of a trade skill with zero college). I have no issue with us differing in intelligence level. What “grinds my gears” (peter griffin.. *snicker*) is when he vehemently states that his fact is 100% accurate and how unintelligent and stupid I am for not being able to grasp his statements.
Last night, along with bashing handicapped people he said a few of the following…
...”Black people don’t deserve to feel entitled. They were slaves, it happened. It was their job at the time. They should respect their master and do their job…They deserve no handout for this, I mean they wouldn’t even BE here if we hadn’t brought them on a free ride, jeez.”
…”Slavery was all fine, people treated the slaves really well until the stupid south screwed it all up for everybody else.”
…”Every child in America is spoiled…every child drives an Escalade…You can’t even do chores these days, because it’s child abuse and the kid will call the cops and the parents will get arrested if you ask them to sweep the kitchen.”
…”Obama spent more on social programs than the Iraq war. He spent 40 billion on social stuff and 30 million on the war. This needs to stop- no one needs all that social stuff and I’m paying for it with my taxes. People need to work more like I did.”
To be truly honest, as I type these, I realize I am not portraying them accurately. I am inadvertently correcting the grammatical errors and slang terms and accidentally substituting “more correct” speech patterns. He would never have said things so eloquently. Please dumb it down appropriately when reading in your mind. Wow, it’s even difficult to type these things in the fashion he says/thinks them.
I actually used my iPhone to record 45 minutes of the 4 hours. Partially during this time I am wiki/googling the Iraq war statistic, at his urging. It indeed states that “$1.7-2 Trillion has been allocated to the Iraqui wars.” To give him the benefit of the doubt (*sigh*) I also checked statistics on only the last few years, each of which had an average of $55-85 Billion… B-illion on the war. Not $30 M-illion. It’s so difficult living with an idiot.
Okay. So I need to stop thinking about this right now. SO… from now on, at least until I’m out of this situation, I’m going to come on Tumblr and post things I find interesting (instead of sharing them with him and getting upset he doesn’t grasp them), stupid and/or frustrating/racist/sexist things he says (to vent to SOMEONE!), and the strategies I take about trying to diffuse the fighting.
-Women respect silence. If you tell a story and a woman is silent, she is paying attention and understands you. If she does NOT understand you, she will speak UP!
-Men are uncomfortable/offended by silence. If during a story (man talking) a woman is silent, he assumes she didn’t hear him or understand.
*Note*- Women nearly always make affirmative noises- “Mmm Hmm, yes, okay, uh huh.” Men almost NEVER make these. If a man is silent HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND YOU or does not care!
As a result, a man explains something and often the woman gets it, but doesn’t care. The man asks and explains over and over and over again. The woman says “yes honey, I get it.” He responds with, “No, you don’t REALLY get it…” and tells it AGAIN! This is irritating. I’m not sure how to fix this.
Another point is when he thinks I don’t remember something, like his birthday or a fact. He tells me like it’s new, and I say “yeah, I know.” He responds that surely I don’t (since he can’t remember jack). I need to learn to smile and nod and pretend like I just learned something I knew 100 times already. This is intensely frustrating.
OH! Speaking of “frustrating”… he can’t say that word. He calls it “Flustrating”. He tells me I “flustrate” him. He also says “I seen that already.” vs “saw”. This is not even the half of the grammatical mistakes he makes without realizing it.
I have no idea how I ended up with this man.
More later, I need to stop stressing out. Let’s hope this blog helps, and it gets interesting to read, vs. annoying. I promise, I’m not normally this bitter. It’s been a rough few days.
Okay, Lots of Love :)